The Reset — When meeting goals don’t make you happy
“The significance of a man is not in what he attains but in what he longs to attain.” Kahlil Gibran
Two months ago, I got started on a quest to achieve 150 pts to meet the Google Fit Health Score. I was able to seal the deal in a month. The requirement is that one should collect the points within 7 days. My goal was more significant than collecting the points. I wanted to regain my lost fitness routine. The brain works in funny ways. After meeting and exceeding the required mark, I found myself slacking once I achieve the target. I found myself behaving similarly in other areas too. If I met a specific goal, I started getting comfortable and then lost the enthusiasm. The happiness of meeting the goal didn’t last for long. I know that it is perfectly acceptable to do so. But doing so for longer marathons doesn’t help. Health and Writing are marathons for me. The goal is to become better each day. What I experienced was perhaps a variant of the arrival fallacy.
Arrival Fallacy is a term coined by Tal Ben-Shahar, a Harvard psychologist. He mentioned it in his book. He says that “Arrival fallacy is this illusion that once we make it, once we attain our goal or reach our destination, we will reach lasting happiness.”
The antidote to the fallacy and regaining oneself is not anything new. The wisdom that already exists comes to the rescue.
Herman Hesse spoke about it, “The high value put upon every minute, the idea of hurry-hurry as the most important objective of living, is unquestionably the most dangerous enemy of joy.” Living in the moment as it comes instead of telescoping ahead or behind is the golden key.
Don’t fall in love with the goals; fall in love with your system. More often than not, we get complacent or satisfied after meeting our goals. But if the main objective is broken into atomic goals, it creates a growth loop. James Clear’s Atomic habits is a great read, and he has written about it in his post. To me, meeting long-term goals is like playing video games. Each level unlocks a new set of to-dos and challenges. If one keeps at it, the points and expertise get better with each game. Persistence and efforts do pay off in the long run, irrespective of the results.
The last but most important one is to remember that there is always a chance to reset or adjust one’s purpose. For me, this is also a reset of getting back to the daily writing routine. I’m glad I retraced my steps back.
“For me, becoming isn’t about arriving somewhere or achieving a certain aim. I see it instead as forward motion, a means of evolving, a way to reach continuously toward a better self. The journey doesn’t end.”
― Michelle Obama
